Like a good, little soldier?
Are you that desperate for his approval?
This isn't you talking, Sam.
That's the difference between you and me.
I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic like you.
Before dad died, he told me something.
He said that I might have to kill you, Sam.
- What the hell is that supposed to mean? - I don't know.
We're talking about the Colt, right?
If you are still set
On the insane task of killing the Devil,
This is how we do it.
- You guys are larping, aren't you? - Excuse me?
Live-action role-playing.
- You're fans. - Fans of what?
"Supernatural" by Carver Edlund.
His name's Chuck Shurley. And he's a genius.
I'm Dean. This is Sam.
The Dean and Sam you've been writing about.
I write things and then they come to life.
- Obviously I'm a God. - He's a prophet of the Lord.
You. You're...
Carver Edlund, yeah. Hi, Becky.
I am your number-one fan.
But I know that "Supernatural" is just a book, okay?
- Becky, it's all real. - I knew it!
You okay, lady?
Sam... is it really you?
And you're so firm.
Dean. Come on!
Chuck! There you are.
Guys.
What's going on?
Uh, nothing.
You know, just, um, I was kind of hangin'.
What are you guys doing here?
You told us to come.
Uh, no, I didn't.
Yeah, you did. You texted me...
This address, "life-or-death situation."
Any of this ringing a bell?
No, I-I-I didn't send you a text.
We drove all night.
I'm sorry. I-I-I don't understand what could...
- Oh, no. - What?
Sam! You made it!
Becky, right?
Oh, you remembered.
You've been thinking about me.
I...
It's okay.
I can't get you out of my head, either.
Um, did you take my phone?
I just borrowed it. From your pants.
- Becky. - What?
They're gonna want to see it.
- See what? - See what?
Oh, my god.
I love it when they talk at the same time!
Hey, Chuck! Come on, pal. It's show time.
Guys, I'm sorry.
For everything.
♪ I just found my way ♪
♪ but that's all I'm ever gonna change ♪
♪ and have a groggy day ♪
Hey, Dean! Lookin' good!
Who the hell are you?
I'm Dean, too.
Uh-oh. it's Sam and Dean.
I'm in trouble now. Have fun, you two.
♪ topsy-turvy, baby... ♪
What?
♪ I say, miss topsy-turvy sure does got me in a spin ♪
♪ you got me... ♪
Becky, what is this?
It's awesome!
A "Supernatural" convention. The first ever.
Welcome to the first annual "Supernatural" convention.
At 3:45 in the magnolia room,
We have the panel
Frightened little boy. The secret life of Dean."
And at 4:30,
There's the homo-erotic subtext of "Supernatural."
Oh, and, of course, the big hunt starts at 7:00 p.m. sharp.
Okay, but... but right now...
Right now I'd like to introduce the man himself.
The creator and the writer of the "Supernatural" books,
The one, the only...
Carver Edlund!
Uh, okay, good.
This isn't nearly as awkward as I...
it's a little dry mouth.
Okay, uh...
So, I guess, uh...
Questions?
Um, you?
Hey, Mr. Edlund. Uh, big fan.
Wow. Okay. I was just wondering...
Where'd you come up with Sam and Dean in the first place?
Oh, uh, I, uh...
It just... came to me.
Okay, uh...
Yeah, the, uh...
Hook man.
Uh, yeah.
Why, in every fight scene,
Sam and Dean are having their gun or knife
Knocked away by the bad guy?
Why don't they keep it on some kind of bungee?
Yeah, I-I-I really don't know.
Yeah, follow-up...
Why can't Sam and Dean be telling that Ruby is evil?
I mean, she is clearly manipulating Sam
Into some kind of moral lapse.
It's obvious, nein?
Hey! If you don't like the books, don't read 'em, Fritz!
Okay, okay, just, uh...
Uh, okay. It's okay.
So, uh, so, next question.
Uh, uh, y-yeah, you.
Yeah, at the end of the last book,
Dean goes to hell.
So, what happens next?
Oh, w-well, there lies an announcement, a-actually.
You're all gonna find out.
Um, thanks to a wealthy Scandinavian investor...
We're gonna start publishing again.
Sweet lord, yes!
I got you a yellow-eyed cooler.
Thanks, Chuck.
Sure.
So, Becky, uh...
I was wondering, um, are you doing anyth...
Oh, hi, Sam!
Excuse us. In case you haven't noticed, our plates are kind of full.
Okay? Finding the Colt, hunting the Devil.
We don't have time for this crap!
Hey, I didn't call you.
He means the books, Chuck.
Why are you publishing more books?
Um, for food and shelter?
Who gave you the rights to our life story?
An archangel. And I didn't want it.
Well, deals off, okay? No more books.
Our lives are not for public consumption.
Uh, Becky, would you excuse us for just a second?
Do you guys know what I do for a living?
Yeah, Chuck, we know.
Then, could you tell me? 'cause I don't.
All right, I'm not a good writer,
I've got no marketable skills,
I'm not some hero who can just hit the road
And fight monsters, okay?
Until the world ends, I got to live, all right?
And the "Supernatural" books are all I've got.
What else do you want me to do?
No. Guys! Wait!
Hey, lady. Hey, you okay?
- I think so. - What happened?
- I saw a ghost. - A ghost?
Ma'am, could you tell us what it looked like?
Why don't you leave this to the grown-ups, pal?
A woman.
She was in an old-fashioned dress.
Really old.
like a schoolmarm or something.
did she say something to you?
Okay.
Gather close, everybody,
For a terrifying tale of terror!
I saw a ghost.
None other than the ghost of Letitia Gore herself!
I was on the third floor when I...
Ooh, the larping's started.
The... what is that again?
Live-action role-playing. It's a game.
The convention puts it on.
Terror gripping my heart with its icy...
"Dad's journal... Dear Sam and Dean,
"this hotel is haunted. You must hunt down the ghost.
"Interview witnesses, discover clues,
"and find the bones.
"First team to do so wins a $50 gift card to sizzler.
Love, dad."
You guys are so gonna win.
Why, yes, agents Lennon and McCartney,
As manager of this fine establishment,
I can assure you that it is indeed haunted.
This building was once an orphanage
Run by mean, old Letitia Gore.
100 years ago this very night,
Miss Gore went insane
and butchered four little boys
before killing herself.
Now folks say that the souls of those poor, little boys
are trapped here
and that the evil spirit of Miss Gore punishes them
to this... very... day.
Well, that's just about all the community theater
I can take.
Yeah, this cannot get any weirder.
Dad said...
He said, I may have to kill you.
Kill me?
What the hell does that mean?
I don't know.
I need a drink.
The EMF's going nuts.
I'm mean, old Letitia Gore.
They buried me in the basement.
You got me.
You're supposed to vanish.
How am I supposed to vanish?
Yeah, okay, Dean. we'll see you in five.
Hey, but seriously, dude, don't eat my Skittles.
Help us.
Help us. Miss Gore won't let us have any fun.
This is part of the game, right?
Holy mother of crap!
That... was...
Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!
♪ signin' autographs, makin' people laugh ♪
How you doin'?
Busy.
Well, you sure look lovely tonight,
Especially for a dead chick.
Buddy, I have heard that line
17 times tonight, okay?
And all from dudes wearing MacGyver jackets.
But you seem different.
How so?
Well, you don't seem scared of women.
For the last time, I'm not making this up, okay?
She... she's upstairs. A real, live, dead ghost!
Excuse me.
Look, I'm sure it was just one of the actors.
Who beat the crap out of me and then vanished?
You saw something?
Look, this isn't part of the game, jerk.
Tim, I'm getting out of here, and you should do the same.
Alex, wait. I... Hey come back.
What do you think?
I don't think that guy's a good enough actor to be acting.
Why, yes, agents Jagger and Richards,
As the manager of this fine establishment,
I can assure you it is indeed haunted.
The building was once an orphanage
Run by mean, old Letitia Gore.
Excuse us. Mind if we ask you a few questions?
Look, I don't have time to play "Star Wars," guys.
Go ask the guy in the Ascot.
Actually, we, uh...
really want to talk to you.
Okay. You guys are really into this.
You have no idea.
What do you want to know?
All this stuff they're saying...
Place being haunted, Letitia Gore.
Any truth to it?
We generally don't like to publicize this
To, you know, normal people.
But, yeah, in 1909, this place was called, Gore orphanage.
Miss Gore killed four boys with a butcher knife,
Then offed herself.
And is tonight really the anniversary?
Yep. guess your convention folks wanted authenticity.
There been any sightings?
Uh, over the years, yeah.
A few maids have quit,
Saying they heard the boys or saw them.
A janitor even saw Miss Gore once.
Where did Miss Gore carve up the kids?
Look, I don't want you stomping all over the joint.
A lot of this place is off-limits to nerds.
The attic.
The EMF's going nuts.
Great.
So, we got a real ghost,
and a bunch of dudes, pretending to be us, poking at it.
No way this ends well.
You know what? Serves them right.
Dean.
Well, I'm just saying.
It's got to be around here some place.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
No one else is looking for the attic.
okay, all right, dude.
One, stay in character, all right?
If it's just me, I look stupid.
And, two, you heard the guy downstairs.
I think this is part of the game.
Help us.
Oh, my god!
That make-up is amazing.
Amateur.
Stay... in... character.
Sorry. Sorry.
Help us. Miss Gore won't let us have any fun.
Where's the body buried, kid?
We'll light her up nice and toasty.
Yeah.
Wow. Fast runner.
Dude.
Check this out.
Oh, that is creepy.
Must've been what he was trying to tell us.
Gee, you think, Sammy?
Okay, this is the coolest game ever.
Yes.
My mommy loves me.
I said my mommy loves me.
I'm sure she does.
My mommy loves me this much.
Awesome.
All right, so...
That was a guy with the county historical society.
And?
Not only did Letitia Gore butcher four boys,
but one of them was her own son.
- Her son? - Yeah.
According to the police at the time,
She scalped the poor kid.
Oh, that's it. I'm gonna deep-fry this bitch extra-crispy.
- Dude say where she was buried? - He doesn't know.
Check it out.
There's the orphanage, here's the carriage house
and right there, cemetery.
You think that's where Letitia's planted?
It's worth a shot.
Hey, ooh. Hey, hey! Hey, do you mind?
It's real, a century old, at least.
And he's right. There is a cemetery on the grounds.
Where'd you get that?
It's called a game, pal.
It ain't called "charity."
All right, give me the map, Chuckles.
Oh, you're the Chuckles...
Chuckles.
Besides, Dean don't listen to nobody.
Dean... cool it.
Dean.
What? They're friggin' annoying.
Look, guys, we all want to find the bones, right?
We just thought it would go faster if we all work together.
We, uh, we get the sizzler gift card.
Fine.
and we get to be Sam and Dean.
Fine.
Yes.
Hey, Rufus, Bobby, would you hurry it up?
You alright?
I'm trying to be.
So, where were we?
Uh, Dr. Ellicott had just zapped your brain.
Right. Got it.
Why are we even here, Dean?
Do you just follow in dad's footsteps
Like a good, little soldier?
Are you that desperate for approval?
this isn't you talking, Sam.
See, that's the difference between you and me.
I got a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic.
So, what are you gonna do, Sam? you gonna kill me?
Man, I am so sick of you telling me what to do!
Oh, you know what? That... that's it.
That is it.
What's wrong, Bobby?
I'm not Bobby, okay?
You're not Sam.
You're not Dean!
What is wrong with you?
Why in the hell would you choose to be these guys?
Because we're fans, like you.
No.
I am not a fan, okay? Not fans.
In fact, I think that the "Dean and Sam" story sucks!
It is not fun, It's not entertaining.
It is a river of crap
that would send most people howling to the nut house!
So, you listen to me.
Their pain is not for your amusement.
I mean, do you think that they enjoy
being treated like... like circus freaks?
Uh, I don't think they care,
because they're fictional characters.
Oh, they care.
Believe me
they care a lot.
He, uh...
He takes the story really seriously.
Found the four boys. and here's Letitia Gore.
Uh, what are you guys doing?
Uh, we're looking for bones, genius.
They got to be around here somewhere.
Okay, generally, bones... are in the ground.
Yeah.
I know that. I'm just...
Wait, hold on.
- Are you guys serious? - Deadly.
We're... we're not really digging up graves, you guys.
We're just playing the game, so...
Trust us.
You want to win the game, right?
That's, uh, not a plastic skeleton.
That's a skeleton, skeleton.
You just dug up a real grave.
Yeah.
You guys are nuts.
I thought you said you guys wanted to be hunters.
Hunters aren't real, man.
- This isn't real. - Oh, my god.
You guys have just seriously lost your grip on this...
What?
Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!
Barnes!
Oh, my god!
Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!
Real enough for you?
♪ well, she ought to come on home ♪
That was...
Really...
Awful, right? Exactly.
Round's on us, guys.
See you around.
Hey, how did you know how to do all that?
We, um...
We read the books.
Hey, Chuck.
Good luck with the "Supernatural" books.
And screw you very much.
Fans of yours?
I'd say no.
That's weird.
Definitely.
Anything?
Every exit's locked. Almost like...
- some thing's keeping us in? - Yeah.
This is bad.
Gee, you think, Sammy?
Don't go in there!
Get downstairs, okay? Go. Go!
Why'd you do that?
Why did you send my mommy away?
Uh, maybe because of the high-and-tight she gave you.
Yeah? How 'bout some thanks?
Well, I'm just saying,
A little gratitude might be nice once in a while.
My mommy didn't do this to me.
What? Then, who did?
Yeah. How original.
"Supernatural" bringing you more creepy children.
Sigh.
Miss Gore wouldn't let us have any fun.
You look nothing like real ghosts.
Just telling you.
But Miss Gore's gone,
And now we can have all kinds of fun.
Gott im Himmel!
Well, guys, I guess we're... we're out of time.
So thank you for your incredibly probing and rigorous questions,
And have a good...
Hey.
What?! Holy crap!
You got to keep everyone safe in here, Chuck.
This is life-or-death.
- For how long? - As long as it takes.
Well, how the hell am I supposed to do that?
I don't know, man.
Just do it.
Okay, so, uh...
Good news.
Uh, I got much more to tell you... I guess.
Awesome.
- Buddy, I got work to do. - You're gonna want to see this. Trust me.
It's gonna be a hell of a show, huh?
Here we go. Here we go.
certainly, there are a lot of nice witches, too.
Uh, what does the future hold for Sam and Dean?
Well, uh, how do you feel about angels?
Yeah, you know, because, let me tell you,
They're not nearly as lame as you think.
Okay, new theory.
The legends about Letitia are ass-backwards, obviously.
Yeah, so, all right, let's say those three orphans
Were... were playing Cowboys and Indians.
Larping as Cowboys and Indians.
Whatever... and let's say they scalped Letitia's son
and killed him.
Mom catches them in the act, flips out,
Slices them, and dices herself.
If that's true, it means
We got three bloodthirsty brats in the building.
Yeah, and Letitia was the only one keeping them under control.
Until we took her out. Smooth move on our part.
All right, well, we got to get back to the cemetery
And torch the kids' bones.
How? We're trapped.
We don't even have our guns.
The ghosts are running this joint,
And they were only scared of one thing.
Exactly.
You want me to do what?
You're an actress, okay? We just want you to act.
I work at Hooters in Toledo.
You can forget it.
You'll be safe. We promise.
But this is really important.
We want to help.
Just give her the puppy-dog thing, okay?
Guys, no.
Why not?
Because this isn't make-believe.
Look, we know. We're not nuts.
We're freakin' terrified.
Yeah, but if all these people are seriously in trouble,
We got to do something.
Why?
Because...
That's what Sam and Dean would do.
Uh, no, there's really no such thing
As a Croatoan virus for you know, down there.
You really should see a doctor.
I-I don't want to do this.
I'm right here, sweetheart. I got your back.
Trust me. This is gonna work.
Boys!
Come here, this instant!
You come when I call you!
Do you understand me?!
Miss Gore?
Push.
You boys...
Have been very naughty.
Now, you open the doors.
Open the doors right now!
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Go!
You're very naughty. You hear me?
Naughty, naughty, naughty.
Damn it!
Run.
Oh, my god.
"Supernatural" makes digging graves...
Seem so easy.
It's not, though.
I'm gonna throw up.
No, you're not.
Thanks.
Sam!
Let's see, uh, what else?
I fell in love for the first time at 16.
Lost my virginity, actually.
But then she went around telling everybody it didn't count, so...
That's kind of funny.
Uh... excuse me!
Y-you really can't leave.
Please, sir.
Don't open that door!
I said no one leaves, damn it!
Now, somebody salt this door!
How come Dean can always light
This stupid thing on the first freakin' try?!
Come on!
Dean!
You know, maybe that guy was right.
maybe we should put these things on a bungee.
And I got to hand it to you, guys.
You really saved our asses back there.
So, uh, you know...
Thanks.
Gosh, I don't even know your names.
Oh. well, I'm Barnes.
This is Damian.
What's yours?
Dean. The real Dean.
Yeah, right!
- Me too! - Get the hell out of here, Dean.
Well, anyway, uh, thanks.
Really.
You're wrong, you know.
Sorry?
About "Supernatural."
No offense,
But I'm not sure you get what the story's about.
Is that so?
All right, look, in real life,
He sells stereo equipment,
I fix copiers.
Our lives suck.
But to be Sam and Dean...
To wake up every morning and save the world...
To have a brother who would die for you...
Well, who wouldn't want that?
Maybe you got a point.
Well, you know, you two don't make a bad team yourselves.
How do you know each other, anyway?
Oh, uh, well, we met on-line.
"Supernatural" chat room.
Well, it must be nice to get out of your parents' basement
And make some friends.
We're more than friends.
We're partners.
Well...
Howdy, partners.
Howdy.
Look, Sam...
I'm not gonna lie.
We had undeniable chemistry.
But like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live.
It can't go on.
Chuck and I... we found each other.
My Yin to his proud Yang.
And, well, the heart wants what the heart wants.
I am so, so sorry.
Yeah, Sam.
You know, sorry.
Will you be all right?
Honestly, I don't know.
I'll just have to...
To find a way to keep living, I guess.
God bless you.
Okay, um, oh, hey, Chuck,
Look, if you really want to publish more books,
I guess that's okay with us.
Wow. Really?
No, not really. We have guns, and we'll find you.
Okay, okay.
No more books.
See you around.
Sam! Wait! One more thing!
In chapter 33 of "Supernatural", Time Is on My Side,"
There was that girl Bela.
She was British and a cat burglar.
Yeah, I know.
She stole the Colt from you,
And then she "said" she gave it to Lilith, remember?
Yeah.
Well, you know she lied, right?
She never really gave it to Lilith.
Wait, what?
Didn't you read the book?
There was this one scene
Where Bela gives the Colt to a demon named Crowley,
Lilith's right-hand man...
I think her lover, too.
Crowley?
Didn't occur to you to tell us this before?
I'm sorry. I didn't remember.
I'm not as big of a fan as she is.
Becky...
Tell me everything.
You okay?
Yeah, you know.
I think I'm good.
Well, you're not gonna believe it,
But I got a lead on the Colt.
What?
Long story. Tell you on the way?
What are we waiting for?
Like a lot of authors,
I started writing because of love.
Yeah, I had a huge crush on Nancy Mckeon,
Who played Jo on "The facts of life."
I must have written her like 40 to 50 letters.
She never wrote back.
I don't think the benders made flesh suits
out of all their victims, so...
Maybe just like a couple scarves.
Actually, my favorite movie was "Beaches."
Hillary and C.C. were just...
So brave.
So strong.
The way I look at it,
It's really not jumping the shark
If you never come back down, you know?